WTF? Can’t I just wait until D realizes that diapers make her skinny jeans bunch and decides to make the leap on her own? Admittedly, I am not looking forward to this messy endeavor. I know in the end life will be easier and less expensive, but as a lazy parent it all just feels like a lot of effort for something that would ultimately work itself out via public humiliation. I know, I know, I’m not even in the middle of it yet and I’m already complaining. I try to keep my expectations low for myself so that I’ll be pleasantly surprised that I got my kid out of diapers before she takes the SATs.
Like most of you, I have been over-reading on the subject to determine my approach and am now completely overwhelmed. Do I do a 3-day boot camp or wait until she shows “signs” that’s she’s ready? Do I create a Pavlov type set-up? Do I simply sit back and wait until daycare tells me that we should start reinforcing at home? Do I download an app and just pass D the phone? In the 19th century they used to clothe boys and girls in dresses full time and just allow them to have accidents until they figured out how to control themselves, resulting in most children being “house broken” by 18 months. Since the average life span was 50 years, this left a lot more time for more important things, like inventing electricity and abolishing slavery. Think of the set-backs if Abraham Lincoln had still been in diapers at the age of 3. Wall-to-wall carpeting changed that method very quickly, along with the fact that women entered the workforce and couldn’t sit at home all day with a pooper scooper. The advent of the disposable diaper made it even easier to put off potty training until 2-3 years, and then we became super focused on child-led training, meaning we have become very passive-aggressive in our own approach and highly judgmental of other parents for not moving quickly enough.
As with all of the other fun, milestone tasks that we have to tackle, I’ll probably take a chapter from each of these books and combine them for a custom potty training combo. Needless to say, my daughter seems to think her potty is a fancy new place to store lost things. I think we’re on the slow boat to a diaper-less future. When you see my 3 year old still sporting pampers, do your best to hold your judgment and instead offer to take her home with you for the weekend for housebreaking. Stay tuned, more on potty training to come . . .
Written by: Alice