Daenerys Targaryen: POSITIVE PARENTING
If you are like Daenerys, you can look past your child's scaly skin and dragon breath and still see a future of wonderful possibilities. You strive to focus on how they can grow their abilities instead of dwelling on the things or people they have mistakenly set on fire. Positive parenting is about supporting children via guiding, mapping out, and brainstorming . . . with an eye on world domination.
"Everyone who isn't us is an enemy"
Cersei Lannister: EXTREME ATTACHMENT PARENTING
While there can be healthy attachment parenting relationships, Cersei Lannister takes it to the extreme. In her approach, the parent is more attached to their children than the children are to their parent, and yearns for them to respond to the parent's emotional needs over their own. This unhealthy dynamic is often demonstrated when the parent keeps the child up past a reasonable bedtime or forces the child to serve as the parent's puppet regent on the Iron Throne. If you find yourself identifying with Cersei's parenting style in any way, place your baby in a box and leave him outside the nearest grocery store. We will all be safer for it.
“You cannot eat love, nor buy a horse with it, nor warm your halls on a cold night.”
Tywin Lannister: DETACHMENT PARENTING
The opposite of attachment parenting, detachment parenting places sole focus on the parents' goals and achievements. Children are simply a means to carry on your family name until you can find a way to attain immortality. While your kids may spend their childhoods trying to win your love, you will pay the ultimate price in the form of therapy bills or being disemboweled by a cross-bow, so you may want to reconsider this approach before it's too late.
"Winter is coming."
Ned Stark: UNCONDITIONAL PARENTING
The King of the North was a model unconditional parent and showed his children and his bastard unyielding love and compassion. You believe your children can actually become people who can do good in the world and you are supportive of their interests no matter what they are and how they differ from your own. This approach can result in strong-willed and independent children, but it can also result in your beheading.
"I will not be a page in someone else's history book."
Stannis Baratheon: CONDITIONAL PARENTING
The conditional parent is all about loving his/her child when it's convenient and or makes them look like they have a soul. In short, this parenting style says "I love you, but if I even FEEL like I'm not going to get my promotion at work, I will END you as a sacrifice to whatever gods we're believing in this week." Advice for children of these parents--hide the matches.
"If you acquire a reputation as a mad dog, you'll be treated as a mad dog."
Roose Bolton: SLOW PARENTING
Slow parenting allows the child's talents to evolve over time and teaches them to approach life as a journey instead of a destination. "Slow" in this case refers to living in the moment as opposed to looking into the future or seeing things as results oriented. Children of these parents tend to be adventurous and free-spirited. Lord Bolton probably thought it was a sign of "creative thinking" when his bastard Ramsay killed the family raven at age 5 and painted the castle walls with its blood. Slow-parented kids do not feel the pressure to bend to societal norms because their parents have allowed them to evolve into the special, sociopathic snowflakes they were always meant to be, fostering their homicidal tendencies and embracing their lack of empathy or concern for human life with unwavering support and love.
Night's King: SPIRITUAL/HOLISTIC PARENTING
The spiritual/holistic parent is focused on appreciating that which IS and being connected to everything in the NOW. The Night's King believes in family, and he raises every frozen and deceased member of his clan and organizes them into a united front. His long, cold stares and a powerful work ethic motivated by a hunger for the flesh of the living inspires his spawn to march towards the unknown as a strong family unit.
Written by: Alice