By the time your baby reaches 6 months, you deserve a lot of awards. #1 you did not let a new season of OITNB completely distract you from their basic needs, #2 you have given your youth and many sleeping hours over to someone who will never thank you and #3 you have completely stopped judging other parents and instead now offer your condolences.
Hitting the 6-month mark also means that your little liquid dieter is ready for the real stuff. This time can be tons of fun as you experiment with different baby food recipes and make pureed versions of everything you can think of; however, it is also the beginning of a whole new set of concerns. Now they can eat food, but you start to realize that most of the stuff on your grocer’s shelves is just pretending to be food and you will spend the majority of your time trying to dodge the hormone filled wasteland of what is considered “normal”. Between dealing with a daycare system that serves juice as a “fruit” to every holiday being driven by candy filled surprises and over indulgent eating, it’s an uphill battle to teach our children to eat well and be mindful of what food does to their bodies.
Raising your kids to eat healthy is almost as hard as raising them not to hate you in their teens. From school events to neighborhood parties, it seems like the entire goal of these gatherings are to get your kids to consume as many sugary treats as possible. Navigating holiday and birthday parties can start to look like an episode of “Breaking Bad”. At every corner, someone is trying to get you or your kids hooked on the white stuff---sugar that is :).
While I want to applaud those parents who spend hours recreating their entire Pinterest board, complete with cupcakes that look like an emotionally challenged, Frozen Ice Queen, I’d prefer to avoid having my children mainline corn syrup and blue dye. Uppers aren’t our thing. Let me be clear, I am in this for the short game. I know the long-term effects of pumping hormones and chemicals into your body, but my main concern is that right now that crap literally turns my kid into something out of The Exorcist. Head spinning and all. Not to mention the promise of a belly ache and a slew of poop problems to clean up.
Unless you plan on keeping your kids locked away, they are going to run into the occasional Dorito and/or Twinkie. Before you go hosing yourself in patchouli and start calling gluten-consumers racists, here are some suggestions on how you can survive the Sugar Raves {aka kids' parties}:
- Feed them before you head out AND prep a fun, not full of crap, treat (check these out) that can be use as incentive for later. This is by far the easiest plan of attack. Tell the kids they’ve already eaten and will get the treat you made earlier when they get home.
- Don’t be afraid to dismantle the buffet table to make your kids a plate that isn’t toxic. Pull apart those sandwiches, wipe icing off of muffins, pick m&m’s out of the trail mix. You can piece together a decent protein, vegetable and fruit from almost any smorgasbord.
- Ask the host when they will be eating and opening gifts; shoot to be there for gifts and skirt around meal time. Your kids will be too distracted by jealousy and trying to steal the bday kid’s gifts to look at the chemical filled "treats" on the table;
- Tell your child they are allergic to cupcakes and if they eat them, then they will break out in a full-body rash and Santa won’t bring them any presents;
- Call the host when accepting the invite and give them a long list of things your children cannot eat. MAGIC! Your kids will never be invited back to another party. You can only hope that word spreads like wildfire.
- Bring your own food and replace all of the "hosted" dishes with nutritious food that is sure to bore the other guests to death.
- Set up a mini picket line with your kids around the buffet table. Have little Susie and Jim hold posters that say things like "These cookies cause cancer", "Just Say No to Cheetos" or "Pastries make you Poop". This method will both educate other party goers and help your children learn that the truth can make them unpopular.
In all seriousness, it’s hard enough to try to teach our kids to be mindful about the foods they are putting in their bodies without every kids’ party and event being riddled with junk food. Help us all out and be the parent that brings the paleo cookies to the bake sale.